The Shoe Hunt

Thursday I went to Fleet Feet with high hopes of purchasing a great pair of new shoes. I walk in, the sales associate asks me about my old shoes, and brings out a new pair of the same shoe. My heart sank a bit. I remember in my pre-running years when I would buy a shoe based on 1) how it looked then 2) how it felt. I don't think I ever bought the same pair of shoes twice. I enjoyed getting a new shoe each time. So, I told the sales associate that I might be interested in exploring my options. He brought out a few other pairs of shoes and after testing them I settled on the Brooks GTS. I wore them home, only a half mile walk, and realized, oh s*#t, these feel like they have no cushion at all! I hate them!!! Panic set in. What if the plantar f. comes back because I'm wearing an uncomfortable shoe? I wore them around the house..."Dammit! Why didn't I just stick to my tried and true shoe???" I knew I had to take them back. So today I shamefully went back to the store, white bag in hand.

Sales Associate: "Can I help you?"
Me: "Hi, I'd like to exchange a pair of shoes I bought on Thursday."
SA: "What happened?"
Me: "Well, hehe...I got home and realized I don't like them. They feel like they don't have any cushion. I like my old shoes and want to get those. I'm not sure why I got a different shoe this time."
SA: Knowingly kids, "Ah ha!...You thought you wanted something different, didn't ya?"
Me: "Yeah, " I shrug.
SA: "You wouldn't believe how many people come back to the store wanting to try something different and then a few days later walk back through the door with the white bag in hand wanting to go back to the tried and true."

He then looks over at the BF and says, "You better watch out!"

We all got a good laugh out of that.

So, I'm now back at home wearing my new pair of the Adidas SuperNova Classics. I can't wait to take them out for a run tomorrow. Now that I have bought the same shoe twice, I feel like I have met a new milestone with running. I feel like like this makes me a more "serious" runner somehow (I'm sure this is all in my head).

Doubt

I don't know why, but I am having reservations about the triathlon. If it were next week, I could understand this doubt, but since it is not until August and I am in pretty good shape at the moment, I just can't understand it. Also, I KNOW I can do it. I can do anything I put my mind to, as I have learned over the course of my life. So why am I feeling this ball of panic welling up inside me? I just looked at the Army Ten Miler info in October and thought how great it would be to run that race. But again, the doubt is creeping in.

As I write this, I think I might have realized the root of the problem. Recently, I faced a big decision in my work life. I had my mind set on something for a while and when it came time to come to fruition, I was talked out of it. Granted, I had limited options. But I know if I really wanted it, I could have made it happen. The thing is, I don't know how much I want it. This thing, this thing I have been looking forward to for three years, suddenly I am unsure. I guess that's why I am feeling panicky about everything lately. I just don't know what I want.

But I DO want to complete the Iron Girl Triathlon, and I do want to keep running and swimming and biking (maybe), and I might just want to do the Army 10 Miler. I don't know what I want in life. It's true. But running sure does help to kick those doubtful feelings in the ass every now and then. I just have to remember to think two steps ahead. With hope, I'll figure out what I want eventually (and maybe while I am running!).

****Training Update****
The pool at the Marriot in Memphis is far from a lap pool. Perhaps if the five teeny boppers weren't toying around I could have gotten some swimming in, but otherwise it just didn't look worth it. Instead, I managed to run a few miles on the treadmill before the wedding ceremonies. Peter and I also made a point of walking off all the bbq we ate at every available opportunity. Yesterday I ran 3.75 miles around the National Mall. I can't say it was an easy run, but I can't say it was difficult either. It just was. My hip is hurting me again though. I think it might be time for new shoes (yippeee!!!). Tonight I'm meeting Beth to do some swim training.

You found me!